Passion

There aren't many people who will go to the ends of the earth to accomplish what they deem as important. There are a few, however, that try their hardest. These individuals are nothing less than inspiring & motivated.

Where does that motivation come from? Some deem that it comes from within. Others, from their God. Whatever the case, I heard about this great group of young adults who go to college in a small town in New York. Their school does not offer a film department, but they are determined to make a short film.

Unfortunately, they don't have the kind of resources they need in order to do this. They need your help.  A small pledge is all they need in order to get from point A to point B. If you'd like more info, please visit their website: Cool film makers

I'm really interested to see what they come up with. I'm really hoping that something will come of their endeavors. Good luck!

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields.And until we meet again,May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

In times of need

The past few months have been difficult for us, financially, that is. Although there is never a shortage of love in our home, there has been a shortage.

Today, I woke up & realized it doesn't have to be this way. I realized that I haven't been moving forward with what God has for me. I know what opportunities that He has in store for me. They are great & in plenty.

For some reason, I've been worrying. Worrying instead of praying. Instead of proclaiming. The devil got his foothold into me & made me feel like a silly, little child.

If God can provide for the birds, surely He can provide for me & my family. To think anything less than that is just plain silly.

As a Christian, sometimes I let things slip. I'm not perfect, after all. I have made a lot of mistakes. I've tried to own up to them, especially recently. But, I need to try & strive harder to be closer with God at all times. I need to cast aside my cares to the only One who can put all of it together & make it right. I do not need to suffer. He can make my life important & right. Can I get an amen?



Thank you, Lord, for your undenying love & grace. You are truly amazing. Thank You for Your abilities to cover me in a blanket of grace & forgiveness. You are the ruler of all. You have a plan for me. Although I don't know what that is all the time, I do know that You are in control & that it will be okay. Thank You for being in control of my life. Amen

Tuna Noodle Casserole

This is an old favorite... or not so favorite for some. I was raised on it & love it. My husband was too, but he isn't quite as fond as I am. It's simple, cheap & quick. Especially this version, which I have made sans the peas (because I don't like them - feel free to use them as you wish).

Ingredients:
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can tuna fish (I prefer mine in water)
1/4 bag of egg noodles

Put noodles in medium sized bowl. Cover with water. Place in microwave 6 min (mine is 700watt microwave, reduce or add as needed). The noodles should still not be thoroughly cooked.

Stir them with a fork or spoon. Place back in microwave for 3-4 mins. Take out, stir. Make sure they are done at this time. Strain.

Add cream of mushroom & tuna. Stir all together until they mix well. Heat for 1-2 minutes. Serve.

Ta-da!! Perfect, quick, easy meal for anyone that's on the go or just wants something cheap & fast.

Block.

If you're a writer, it will likely happen to you. You will experience a writing block. You will get to the point where you have so much going on in your life, your head...that you just can't sit down to focus for twenty minutes to write.

My block? The last five months without sleep has finally caught up with me. I'm sleeping. All because a little girl named Elonah has started watching mommy & daddy eat. She's so interested in big people food. It started out with avocado. She slept. So, we pushed the solids. There's still only a few foods we've tried, but she's been a much happier baby. A happier baby...who sleeps. & mommy does too. Ahhhh.

I'm going to try to write more, but for now...I revel in my sweet girl who sleeps!

Mac N Cheese [with a twist] !

Who (in their right mind) doesn't love macaroni & cheese? I can't think of one person whom I know that I do. I came across this recipe when I was in college. It's actually from my ex's mom, although I think my version is slightly modified. Have fun & enjoy the tasty deliciousness!

Ingredients:
1/2 box shells (noodles)
1 can diced tomatoes
1/2 stick Velveeta spread
1 slice American cheese
1 tbsp sharp cheddar
Salt & pepper



Directions:
Boil water. Add macaroni shells. Cook until tender. Strain water.

Before adding strained macaroni back to pot, first add diced tomatoes. Then, add macaroni shells. Stir the mixture. Let mixture simmer at low heat.

Cut velveeta spread into 1/4" slices, then cut those into cubes. Slowly begin to add & stir in to mixture, turning the temperature up to melt cheese if needed. Add sharp cheddar & american cheese.

Once all the cheese has been melted, salt & pepper macaroni & cheese to taste.

Premies: Taking a closer look

Yes, November is pre-mature awareness month. But, that's not the only reason this is being discussed here. I have a few friends who have had premies & one that's baby is currently in the NICU...fighting for her life. To say that this is an issue that hits close to home would be an understatement.

I wrote about a sweet little girl - Ellie, the other day. Her mom, Amanda, is a sweet woman & I'm lucky to know her through an online community of women that have all pulled together to support & pray for both her & her baby during this difficult time.

But their story got me to thinking about the other women in that very same community who had previous babies born prematurely who also had their share of time in the NICU.

First, let's start out with a definition of the word premie: any baby born before 37wks gestation. There are varying degrees of prematurity, but any baby born before this allocated time is technically premature.

Here is Trey:



He is three years old. He is a happy, healthy little boy. He loves to play & have fun. His mom, Nola, is a great woman who I've come to know & love. Trey also has a little sister named Aubrey. Could you have ever guessed that he was once as tiny as this...?



Yes, Trey is bigger now. But that doesn't mean he wasn't once a tiny, little helpless baby who needed special care. The same is true for this precious little bug:



Her name is Cameron. She was a tiny 3lbs at birth. Her mom, Michelle, is someone I've really connected with in the online community we come from. You'd never guess the picture above is the same little girl as the picture below. But it is.

This same little girl now loves mermaids & candy. She has a baby sister named Juliana.




For some reason, in the last few weeks, I've been extremely drawn to this topic. My heart strings pull & pray for this sweet little baby to fight. To make it so she can be one of the success stories I've shared with you on this blog.

All I can tell you is this - the NICU days are hard. I have heard the stories. I have read the pain, but I haven't felt it. I hope I never have to. But for those that have - a helping hand or even just a prayer their way will do a world of good. & if you're feeling really ambitious, head over to the March of Dimes. They're always looking for a donation for babies just like these. & I whole-heartedly believe every penny (& second) is worth their time.

Re-purposing

How to: re-purpose
(on a budget)

I find that I hate spending money on things I will never use. I currently have a whole corner of my dining room designated to things I need to get rid of...I'm just not sure how I'll go about that yet.

But, as a woman who loves clothes & shoes - one thing I can never get enough of is a new shirt or a new pair of boots (at least every once in a while).

My problem is: how do I justify it when I already have so much? I don't need for anything, so I feel badly when I want to buy something new.

Instead, I go to a consignment store & take anything that no longer fits (or I no longer wear) back. I get paid & I go shopping with that money. Second hand isn't so bad, especially not when you shop at places like Plato's Closet, where you can find things that sometimes still have tags on them.

Frugality? Yes. New clothes? Yes.

Win...win!

Diffused Efforts

I am the kind of person who tries to do too much all at once. I've been working on my blog. I've been working on photography. I want to sew my little girls' diapers. & diapers for a future babe too. I have been learning how to crochet hats & animals. I have a business as a personal consultant for an energy company.

What does this translate too? A frazzled, frustrated momma. & my husband has been catching the brunt of this crazyness. I tend to spend a lot of my efforts on other things, which is unfortunate for him. I spend all my extra time with my baby. & although my husband loves her, he can't help feeling a little left out.

He's been working ten hour days. I've been doing all this. Not an equation for a happy marriage. I was reading one of my favorite blogs today (I had some catching up to do) & stumbled across this:

"Phase 1: When we really have clarity of purpose, it leads to success. 
Phase 2: When we have success, it leads to more options and opportunities. 
Phase 3: When we have increased options and opportunities, it leads to diffused efforts. 
Phase 4: Diffused efforts undermine the very clarity that led to our success in the first place."

That quote comes from this blog.

Ugh. That hit me hard. So, I'm diverting my attention. I might spend a few nights a week here, but for now, I've got more important things to do...

Prayers for Ellie

I know I don't have many readers out there, but this is something that is near & dear to my heart...so, even if only one person reads it & prays, I'll be satisfied with that. Babies are born premature every minute of every hour of every day of every year.

A beautiful young mother in one of my mom's groups lost her first baby at 22wks & just delivered a beautiful baby girl named Ellie at 26w3d. Above is her banner. Please take the time to pray for her & her family.

How to: Hospital Bag ed.

Ahhh, the elusive hospital bag list. Honestly - I'm writing this more for myself than anyone else. I'm horrible at keeping track of things & figure, "hey, this will be here when the next baby comes." (Don't worry - we are a long ways away from that!)

I will start off by saying that my hospital was VERY cold. Of course, most of the time I was blazing with heat because:

1. I was pregnant.

& 2. I was experiencing the joy of after-birth hot flashes (no fun, no fun AT ALL).

Depending on your state of temperature, you may also want a robe. I didn't bring one, but even if I had, I would not have cared to wear it.

But nevertheless, I would suggest some blankets of your own. Especially if your husband or significant other plans to stay there with you. My hubby was freezing & the most he had was a measly sheet I'd managed to bring. I did remember pillows, though. & those are always a good thing to bring. Also, because it is so cold, chapstick & lotion are probably necessary means to an end. (especially during winter, at least where I live!)

I'm pretty embarrassed to say it took me most of the first day to get dressed. I think I got ready maybe five minutes before visitors started arriving. Eeek. But anyway - for that, I'd suggest stretchy, comfortable clothing. No one is looking at you anyway. ;) But if you're feeling extra ambitious, you can always bring your makeup with you. I brought mine, but I'm 100% sure I didn't use it. I just didn't feel it was necessary, but everyone is different.

Along those same lines, some people shower in the hospital & others don't. I didn't. Mostly because I showered about five hours prior to giving birth & it wasn't on the forefront of my mind seeing as we left only about 28 hours after. Still, some will. You'll need anything you use at home. I opted for trial sized soaps & shampoos, but whatever way you want to swing it is okay too.

Hospital food is not my favorite, but it is a necessary evil unless you want to pay a lot of money for fast food that's really not good for you or whoever is staying with you. Dan mostly ate out, but I did offer to give him some of my food (even though I'm pretty sure that's not allowed ;) ). Still, you'll need to fill in the cracks. You just had a baby after all. That takes a lot out of you. & you need to stay strong & hydrated. That being said, don't be a dummy like I was. BRING SNACKS. I should have had a whole separate bag just for those. ;)

Other than that, I didn't have a lot of things that I really felt like I had to have with me. Of course, I brought my computer & its charger.. Along with my phone & its charger. But, I didn't need much else. I slept a lot, ate a lot, & cuddled with my new baby. 

(If you plan to breastfeed, this section is for you.. if NOT, read to the overall list below! :) ) The boppy was my first lifesaver. Of course, when the babes are still so little, I'd advise putting other pillows with you as well until you get used to the different positions. & even though I didn't get dressed much of the first day - I DID put on a night nursing bra. It saved my life. I felt supported, but was able to pop those babies out whenever I needed them. Nursing tanks are nice for when you're feeling a little more ready to be clothed, which is what I wore when I got dressed. I also brought my lanolin, but I don't think I used it in those first few days. I should have, though. Maybe it would have helped prevent the aches I got later.

So, in a basic run-down, you'll need:

- chapstick

- a nightgown

- robe

- nursing tanks

- nursing bra

- boppy

- lanolin

- blanket

- loofah

- makeup

- glasses & case

- lotion

- snacks & drinks

- phone & charger

- computer & charger

- camera & batteries

- notebook/pen

baby:

- 2 blankets

- going home outfit (& socks)

- diaper bag

- carseat

hubby:

- clothes

- deodorant

- any other toiletries he may need

- slippers

- pj pants

Overall, your time in the hospital will be short. It will go by too quickly & you'll be left wondering "are we really getting sent home with this thing?" But seriously - enjoy having people around to help. & take lots of time staring at your precious new bundle.

Free (almost) Tickets?!

Yes, you read that right.

....almost free tickets? I say that's too good to be true. But really, it's not.

A girl I know has some friends who started up this really cool business (cliche, right?). It's called get an invite. Venues will do almost anything to get people in their seats. They want people there. They want you to buy the t-shirts, the popcorn, the whole 9.

But "getting an invite" is about actually getting to be at that venue in the first place. You register for free & if an event comes up in your area (which you can select - from within 10 miles to unlimited), you pay $6 to attend it. You fill out a section which you select the kind of events you'd like to be invited to. Since everyone has different tastes, this is obviously an awesome option. Anything from sports to musicals is available. If you get invited & choose not to go, you haven't spent any money, but you still have gotten the opportunity.

& seriously - who doesn't love a deal like this? I do. :)





P.S. I have been notified that the company is just starting out & most of the events are in Florida, but don't worry, more events are added all day, every day.

I can choose cheaper energy?

On my journey as a stay at home mom, I've discovered that there are a lot of things I love to do. As you've probably figured out from this blog, they include photography, crafts, food & anything that has to do with saving money.

I've done couponing & go that route when/if possible, but a lot of what I do is try to bring in extra money for the house where I can.

Recently, I learned of an opportunity called Ambit. Ambit is an energy company. The de-regulation of energy is a great stride forward in our country's history, possibly even more valuable than that of the railroads' back in the day. You can find out if you're a part of Ambit's territory here.

The best part about Ambit is that it's the only company offering their customers the chance to earn free energy. How do they do that? Well, they want you to go out an recruit other people to be a part of their team.



I became a customer myself in August. I noticed a pretty substantial improvement in savings. The consultant that got me started kept after me to see if I'd want to make some money for myself. I've got to admit, at first I was very reluctant, but eventually I succumbed. I thought, "what's the worst that could happen?"The truth is, I love saving money. & I want others to be able to experience that too.

I'm currently trying to get myself free energy. I'm about 12 customers away from that, though, but I know eventually it will come. If you like to save money, I'd encourage you to look into it. It's a great way to do so on something we all have to purchase. Do it.

What are you waiting for?

Why is it so important to feel your boobies?

In honor of breast cancer awareness month, I decided to have a few guest writers tell their experience with breast cancer. The following is what Lindsey, a girl I went to school with & cheered on our high school football team, went through. I hope you can appreciate this for what it's worth, just as I have. 

"My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998. She was only 33-years-old. I was 8. She'd found a lump in her breast and a doctor told her it was nothing to worry about. He called it a "fifth rib."

About four months later she went back to him. He did a biopsy in his office. The next week she was given 6 months to live. Yes, six months. She started chemotherapy soon after. She was always sick from chemo and had to shave her head. Her best friend and myself made her get a wig. It took hours because she didn't want one. She was a hairdresser with very long hair. She finally picked one and named it Trixie. 

She went into remission for a year, but then it came back. She started having seizures; one happened when I was home alone with her and I had to call 911. She was diagonsed with brain cancer, cancer of the lumbar spine and liver cancer. That was when she quit smoking. She had smoked since she was a teenager. Well, with the other types of cancer, she had to do radiation, take 15+ pills a day and have surgery. And more chemo. This went on four years.

In 2002, we moved from Jamestown to Falconer after she'd sued the doctor for malpractice and won. She was getting worse and worse. My mom was 4'11 and weighed 98lbs. She suddenly gained 20lbs. It was fluid filling her abdomen, killing her. The cancer was going everywhere. She stayed in the hospital for around 2 weeks and all she wanted to do was come home. I knew she was going to die, but I was 12 and didn't get along with my dad at all...so, I refused to believe what was happening. Hospice nurses came to our house to care for her. My father (who I didn't get along with at the time, but have since re-kindled a relationship with) went to work. I wanted to help the nurses care for her, so I gave her baths and played music for her. Still, she went into a coma in her bed. Two days after coming home, the nurse came into my living room to tell me, my grandma and my uncle to say, "Lori has passed on."

All I could do was stare at her for a minute, then I ran into my mom's room. She was gone. And I was crying. I called my dad and told him, then i called my best friend. We made arrangments and I picked out a pink casket since it all started with breast cancer. No twelve-year-old should ever have to arrange a funeral. I handled it better than my family because I'd had time to get used to the idea, since I was eight I knew this would happen. Because of this, I will never smoke and I've already starting getting mamagrams. Every year, I have a team at the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life in honor of her."

Breast cancer is something that, if goes undiagnosed, can lead to serious consequences. Lori (Lindsey's mom) deserves to be honored in more than one way. Although she did think something was wrong, modern medicine will hopefully not let things like this happen again. It is our job, though, to be preventative. We need to self-exam & make it a point to have mammograms. 

Have you had yours?

Someday, you'll understand...

I can now understand why my mom was always so worried about me when I was growing up. I used to think it was so lame how she'd ask me about my homework or if I'd cleaned my room...or told me that I needed to go to the doctor when I was sick.

You know that saying, "someday you'll understand when you have your own"? Yeah, it's biting me in the behind right now. Because I do. I understand now what it's like to have a sick child. & you know what? It blows. 

Yesterday afternoon I noticed Elonah's little nose was runny. She's been sneezing a few times a day since she was born so I figured it was just that. As the day went on, she became more sneezy & mucous-y. My husband busted out the boogie wipes & that seemed to help. I noticed later she was coughing & getting raspy when she cried. We checked her temperature before giving her a bath & it was pretty high. My mom was here so she ran to the store & got some baby Tylenol & some baby Vicks.

We gave her a bath & I dressed her in a onesie & lathered on the rub. I gave her some tylenol & nursed her to sleep. My poor little love bug hardly put up a fight. & she woke up maybe three times all night to eat. I feel like a new momma! But not for a good reason...

As I sit here, my normally fussy, cranky, sometimes happy baby is in her swing, rocking away. Only now, she's tired. & not herself. I feel so bad for her. There's nothing I can do but wait until 3:30 when she has her appointment with the pediatrician. 

In the meantime, I've got to wake my husband up & get some bath soap for later. There's nothing worse than a baby who's sick. & she'll always be my baby. & I'm still my moms'.

Adventures in Toddlerhood: Ed. 1

Whether or not we want to believe it,

we set examples everyday.

To our neighbors, other drivers, etc.

But ultimately, it is the next generation

that determines what our future holds.

I stumbled upon this little girls' picture when one of the mommas I'm friends with in a birth month group (June, when Elonah was born) posted it. She said that her daughter told her that her little brother needed fed, then proceeded to get out the parts to her pump & lift up her shirt.

It is honestly one of the most adorable things I've seen. It's also completely innocent. That little girl knows nothing else than that milk from her mommy is what her little brother eats. & she has no shame in the fact that it comes from parts of mommy that aren't always seen as feeding tools. & why should she? There's no shame in the fact that her mom is doing what she thinks is right for her family & her little boy.

This picture is also priceless. This came via another mom on my June board. While he is a boy & may not understand the concept quite yet, he knows no shame in what he's doing. Good. That's what I like to see.

Okay, so...maybe the example I set isn't for a kiddo as big as the one in the photos above. But, my goal to set a healthy example has already begun. For the hundreds of little people who have seen me breastfeeding in public, this will continue to become more normal.

The truth is, I don't care if you choose to breastfeed, co-sleep, cloth diaper...or baby-wear or any of the other many things I'm passionate about. It's not a matter of judgement. It's a matter of doing what works for you & realizing that your take on life will be passed down to your children. As a parent, one of the most amazing things I've already learned is that the examples we set, no matter how big or small...will develop our children into the type of people we either want or don't want them to be. & as the example-setters; it is up to us who that is.

Take a step back...

"Today, I will try my hardest to refrain from disliking someone, whether they "deserve" it or not.
If I can make it through today, maybe tomorrow will be easier."

I wrote that shortly after having become a mother & a family of three. It'd also only been seven months after having gotten married to my wonderful husband. It was a new, scary time. I'd just gotten used to the idea of taking care of someone else, but now I had to be responsible for this new, little life we had created.

Still - I shouldn't have said what I did, especially not about my husband whom I'm supposed to lift up & create a caring, safe environment for.

I was angry, I was dramatic, I was wrong.

Whether you believe it or not, it is my personal opinion that husbands & wives need to do their best to stick together. They need to be on the same team. Of course, that doesn't always mean they agree. But, let's face it - when your teammate makes a play you aren't expecting, you have to change what you're thinking. Often, these things happen so quickly that their team members are forced to make decisions about things they aren't even sure will work. But they do it because they have to.

I, however, don't believe that vows are a less than forever kind of thing. Some people don't mesh - their pieces of the puzzle don't fit together. & that's okay. But no matter what you think about the institution - marriage is hard. It takes work. It's not always the fairy-tale little girls grow up dreaming about. My marriage is no exception to this rule. Although we are (& have always been) a fairly docile, happy couple, that is not to say that sometimes there aren't bumps in the road.



The timeline that's set for couples depends on the couple & what they want out of life. But when you start dating, get engaged, buy a house, get married & have a baby all within two years - things can be...a little more tricky. Both of us knew we wanted to get married & have kids. We talked about it a lot in that first year of being together. The reality of the situation is quite different from the ideas floating around in mine or Dan's head.

Having to adjust to life between all that is difficult. I won't go into detail because it's not my story to tell, but I wasn't the only one in shambles over it. Dan wasn't in a place that he wanted to be, though. He wasn't my husband & he definitely wasn't the father I knew he could be.


It has taken work. Real, hard work. But we have since made up. & made better. Life is forever evolving, changing...going on. & so should a marriage.

Cloth vs Sposies

When you find out you're going to be a mom, there are lots of things to research. From all things pregnancy to L&D and finally? Baby gear.

You start with a registry. Some choose to do it online while others choose go to the store with that fun little barcode scanner (or as most guys refer to it - gun) & scan away. But from the beginning - it's clear that there are so, so many options.

So - how do you pick the right one for your family? The options of swings, bottles, ointment, bath wash, etc can be a bit overwhelming. The same thing goes with diapers. Pampers, huggies, store brands. How do you choose?

I'll tell you the story of how I chose - a friend of mine & I were talking about our future children one day. She mentioned cloth diapering. I gave her what I would assume to be a look of disgust, because she felt she needed to explain (& in my mind, she did!).



How much do you spend on a pack of diapers? Well, let's say you prefer Pampers (which is what we used in the hospital & I LOVED - vs the not-so-awesome Huggies we used later at home). In that case, you are in for a little surprise as they are a bit pricey. You can get 204 diapers for $44.99. That's about 22 cents per diaper. The average baby will use 3,000 diapers per year. If your baby is in diapers for three years, that's almost $2,000! & that's just on diapers. Add in wipes & you're shelling out a lot of money for something that's going to sit in a landfill for decades (literally!).

Not only that, but many babies have very sensitive skin. I know my daughter does. Cloth is awesome because it's just like clothing. It has the least amount of irritation on a baby's skin. Disposables aren't made of the greatest materials & they are filled with chemicals.



For a stash of cloth you can spend around $500 & get decent options, especially if you go second hand. It's really economical. They even have plenty of organic options in case that's something you're concerned with. If you're using the diapers for more than one baby, it's definitely worth it. You can also plan to sell the diapers once you're done.

Alas, it's not about judgement or ridicule. It's about what works best for you & your family. I thought cloth might be difficult, but it's really not. Even my husband was worried, but he really loves the cloth now. We are happy with the decision we made & I've never looked back.

Our answer to, "Is she colicky?"

Must. Stay. Awake.

I utter those words, along with many other things related to my exhaustion, daily. The Keurig my husband had to have last Christmas has become my best friend & I am slowly beginning to learn that mom is sometimes spelled z-o-m-b-i-e.

Why, you ask? Well, many of you know I have a small infant. These little beings require lots of time & effort. I knew that when I "signed up" for this gig, but what I did not know was how long I would go without sleep for.

In the same way that no one tells you about many of the things you go through during pregnancy or labor & delivery, no one tells you so many of the things you will go through as a mother. & that's largely because all of these things are different for every mother along with every baby.

For example; One of my closest friends has an (almost) 8 month old. Her baby sleeps wonderfully. & by wonderfully, I mean through the night. Sure, sometimes he's fussy or fights sleep for an hour or two, but he sleeps more than 5 consecutive hours at a time on a daily basis (& that doesn't count growth spurts, wonder weeks, or wakeful cycles). I used to think, "wow, she's lucky." Now I think, "wow, I hate her." Not really, but sometimes I do wish I could be in her shoes.

I think in the past two weeks, I've gotten one night of more than 4 hours at a time of rest. & when I do get that sleep, it's glorious. It gets me through the next few nights of up every 2.

Anyway, the whole reason I'm writing this is because I actually have a second to myself. & it feels good to sit here, in the quiet, & write.

Why do I now enjoy the quiet? Well, my baby is what I would call high needs. She is demanding, exhausting, intense, demanding, unpredictable, etc. No, she is not my friends' babies. She is not quiet or giggly or even remotely satisfiable. She feeds frequently & will tell you what she needs...& not always nicely. She is draining & so, so fussy at times.

They say that high needs babies often come into families that have work to do. The work I think I have to do? Become more patient. & trust me - she is definitely testing my patience. But, God never gives you something you can't handle, right?

So, I've learned to embrace this little spit-fire I've got. Right now, she's all I've got. She made us a family & I will forever be in debt to her for that. So, yes, Elonah...I will pick you up when you cry, give you a bath before bedtime & always give you kisses, even when you refuse them. You are my angel & my little blessing.

Picture Obsessed

I am obsessed with taking pictures. Last night, my husband & I went to Starbucks. We had two free drinks to get, so we decided yesterday was a good day to use them. After we did so, I decided I wanted to go on a walk. We ended up going to a little park by the lake. & I took pictures.

    

Picture after picture after picture.

I just cannot get enough. I am trying to start my own photography business right now, so I can use all the practice I can get - even if it means just shooting some ducks or boats. ;)

Also, I've spent the better half of my morning editing photos. I've found that you have to love the computer just as much as you love your camera to do this job - but I'm okay with that. It's a little overwhelming sometimes, but I'm learning.

Crrrrrafty

There are times in my life when I go through "spurts."

What is a spurt, you say? Well, my attention span / creativity level has never been very high. I need a lot to keep me interested. Whether that be a lot of free time or motivation, I just need something to keep me in that mode.

Right now, I'm in a spurt. In just the last week, I have worked on miss E's scrapbook, bought supplies to make her headbands, & made a fall wreath. If I had more time (& energy), I would seriously think about selling something on Etsy.

I would love to be crafty & go to those classes at Michael's. Or just have more time to make cute stuff for my house.

Unfortunately, right now, I'm busy with miss E. & watching one of my good friend's children (who is only a little older than Elonah). & starting my own photography business...and maybe keeping my house clean every once in a while.

Phew. Maybe later in life. Like...when my kids are in school.

A Pinterest Problem

Many of you know about Pinterest - a way to save things to boards & view them later. It's kind of like the easy man's version of bookmarks...with pictures.

I don't know about you - but I could spend hours on that wretched site! Lately, though...I've been trying to actually do something based on my time spent there. My husband and I are trying to get healthier, as I wrote about in the e-meal post. Let's face it - now we will have an example to set...

My e-meal covers my dinners. Set, done. Thus, I needed to find a solution for breakfasts as well as lunch. I'm not quite to the lunch portion, yet, but I've found at least one recipe I can use for breakfast. It's called an oatmeal casserole. I chose to do it regular, old-fashioned style, but the recipe actually calls for it to be gluten-free! You can find this recipe here.

The best part? She's a fellow blogger. I found it supportive to help another sister out ;)

I will continue on my hunt for other solutions to meals, but this is one that I'm fairly comfortable with. You cook it in the evening & can have it for breakfast the rest of the week. Beats sugary, refined cereals. The best part was? I had all the ingredients right in my house!

Food Addiction

I swear, I have a problem with food. I love it. I know this is common - or so many people wouldn't want to find fast, easy solutions to weight loss. & the companies that make diet pills would not make so much money.

Recently, my husband & I decided we had to do something about the way we eat. It isn't healthy & I'm just as tired of asking, "What do you want for dinner?" every night just as much as he is tired of saying he doesn't know.

Our solution is a simple, cheap one. Emeals. It is an online subscription which you pay for to receive a planned meal once a week for every day of the week. The only reason I decided to go with this was because of a group of moms I met that were all due in June (when I was) with their babies. They suggested it once & I was interested at the time, but later it was brought up again. The second time, it was on groupon for 1/2 off. I knew I had just received an e-mail from Groupon about having a $20 coupon. The emeals subscription was on sale for $29. So - I scored it for $9! A whole year's worth of meals...for $9!

Not only was it a cheap solution, it also gave us the opportunity to get healthier. There are tons of fruits & vegetables on there every day. Just tonight, we had spinach, tomatoes, chilles, strawberries & blueberries...in ONE meal!

Now that we have had this for just under two weeks, I have to say, I'm hooked. Dan loves it because it is a nice change compared to the same recipes I would make all the time. There are a few things I know he will still want every now & then that aren't on the list frequently, but I'm excited to start something new & different...and also, to get more healthy doing it!

I would highly recommend this if you have trouble finding things to eat for dinner!

A zoom in to this new mom's slacking

I have really been lacking in my writing here. As some of you know, I had a little girl in June. She is quite the handful & I'm still learning how to take care of this high needs little girl on a daily basis. But even so, I've only written twice since May.

But today, I realized that I need a place to use my writing as an outlet - a place for my brain to go when I just need to let my feelings out or when I'd like to share about a difficult part of my life. Today's topic you ask? Breastfeeding...dairy-free.

I have never really had to give anything up. With the exception of certain obvious, but necessary obligations while pregnant. But, alas, having a baby changes more than you could ever think possible. Including (apparently) my diet. I discovered a few weeks ago that broccoli was not an option. Her tummy gets very upset whenever I eat it. & frankly - I don't know if I've been trying to deny it, or just trying to delay it, but - milk does the same thing.

As a person who has at least a bowl of cereal a day & loves ice cream, this fact has truly shaken me. It sounds silly, maybe, but having to eliminate the normal dairy is tough. I have had to go on the search for non-dairy milk (coconut & almond) along with ice cream. The substitutes are okay, but they aren't the real thing. I just don't find these foods enjoyable anymore. :(

But honestly, I've given up so much for this little girl. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. To be dairy free for her is a small price to pay to make sure she continues to get the benefits of breastmilk for at least the first year of her life. But, I will probably breastfeed as long as she wants to.

When it comes down to it, my little girl & her health is more important than milk. But, thus begins a new journey...

Emotions of a frazzled wife

Today, I will try my hardest to refrain from disliking someone, whether they "deserve" it or not.

If I can make it through today, maybe tomorrow will be easier.

smells I love

candles burning. fresh cut grass. febreeze. pledge. baked goods. clorox wipes. old spice. fresh stain. gain scent booster. gasoline. lemons. hazeltine. paint. mint. freshly washed laundry. cinnamon. homemade bread. campfires.